BoldUlysses.com

My chocolate fix for this afternoon has been had. It’s been good. I’ve been productive and am clawing my way into a position of competency and respect among my coworkers. Also, Bob’s really going to buy Twinkie. I will experience something I haven’t experienced in a long time–owning only one car. Well, no, that’s not entirely true, since my 240Z is back up in NC, but the Supra will be the only car I have available. Guess I won’t wring it out as much as I have. It’ll be a new way of thinking. I can’t just tear into the engine bay with wild abandon on the weekend like I have in the past. Logistics will have to be planned more carefully. I’ll be okay, though. As far as sports cars go, it’s a reliable vehicle, and I’m confident in my mechanical abilities. I can tackle anything that comes up.

I finally found out when summer shutdown is going to be–the week of July 28 through August 3. Far cry from the huge swaths of times allotted for summer vacation when I was back in school. Enjoy those, kids. What to do during that time? I’ll have another chunk of money saved up by then. I’d love to venture off the continent for a bit. Any ideas? Could I come visit any of you?

I really need to initiate a movement to change the radio station in here. The tripe they play is appalling in its vapidity.

Staring into space a lot this morning, tired. Engineering meeting very nearly put me to sleep. It’s entertaining when they start getting mad at each other. It keeps me awake. Wish they’d done that today, but oh well. Shouldn’t wish for strife anyway. I have enough of that.

And what am I doing anyway? Why do I put up with this stuff? Maybe I should just… I don’t know.

More sighing and wishing for a nap.

Do you miss me in the mornings? Do you miss the
toast and laughter of us? Do you miss the
arms holding tight surrounding
close home us love we so warm and
fit soft peace Do you? I might
be there; I might
she
misses
hisHands and –softTouch
on Do you miss,
the cheek?and more
we hadwe saw
lacking not the full just the
farness but aWonderful thing
sometimes more thanseldom
it was
Do you miss?
me

Anyone for movies, then the beach, and maybe the pool? Then we could hit the town for some dinner. I have the TV and VCR, finally, and the articles of furniture in the living room have been arranged such that they form a nice little enclave around the television. Watched “Rush Hour 2” last night with my dad… Good, mindless entertainment.

*sigh*

I think this has been the single most productive day I’ve had at work. I finished the lower galley, sent it to Ray to get nested, designed a nightstand for the starboard side stateroom, sent that to Ray, and got dimensions from the assembly line for the side window redesign. The 44 nears completion… At least until next week, right? :oP

The shadows were getting a bit long coming in the giant doors of the assembly building. The structure is cavernous inside in order to accomadate the decks as they come down on the hulls from above. I was inside one of the 44 decks, taking measurements, and “Where the Streets Have No Name” came on the boombox the assembly workers use. The first chords echoed throughout the building, filling the space. It made me pause for a bit, just to listen to the music over the industrial noises, the saws, the drills, the air tools… It was a bit of mid-afternoon serenity.

Good day today. My dad’s down here visiting for a couple of days–his idea. We went to Harry’s last night… We had to wait for about an hour to get a seat outside, but the night was cool and beautiful. There was a cover singer there; she had a really good voice and sang some good stuff, except for “Drops of Jupiter” by Train… Ick. She only did that one by request, anyway. You could hear a bit of suppressed disdain in her voice as she announced what she was going to play…

Then, talks into the evening… I really love and appreciate my dad. He’s great.

I found a good church, too. Thank you all for your prayers–they were definitely felt. It’s about 45 minutes away in Jacksonville, but that’s okay. They’re a large church, and not perfect, of course, but have dynamic worship, a strong singles ministry, and a real heart for outreach. I was very encouraged and blessed to attend the service this morning. I’m happy about that.

And then I got a dining room table… Finally :o) It’s a card table, basically, with four folding chairs, but it’s the perfect size and the whole set actually fit into my car on the way home. I won’t be cradling my plate in my lap as I eat dinner now.

God is good :o)

Well, darn it. I forgot to sign off after lunch break, which means nobody in my family has been able to get online for a good 4 hours or so. That was dumb.

I am getting sick and tired of working on this boat–the 44 convertible. Ever get the feeling that you’re just treading water with whatever you’re working on, that every little bit of progress you make is anticipated by another change, another setback? It doesn’t bode well for job satisfaction, to be sure.

At least it’s Friday, and I’m home. I’ll be investigating churches up in Jacksonville this weekend. I reckon some of them will have singles’ groups. Allegedly that’s where eligible young Christian women go to meet eligible young Christian men, and vice versa. Of course, it’s not the main focus (or certainly shouldn’t be), but many people count it as a nice side benefit. I don’t want that at all, though. I just want a good, supportive, uplifting, encouraging group of friends to hang out with and invest myself in. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

Mixed morning… The galley is going together well, and the double check that I ran to make sure everything was going to line up panned out properly. I woke up an hour early this morning, though. Couldn’t figure out why I was so ridiculously tired, got up, made breakfast, got dressed, walked out the door… “Gee, it’s kinda dark out here.” Checked all the clocks in the apartment. Dang it. I had accidentally pressed the “hour” button on the alarm clock that I set, causing it to run an hour ahead. I crawled back in bed for about 45 minutes, fully dressed. I woke up even more tired. It’s like my body was saying, “You have got to be kidding. You really want to get up?”

And I was absentmindedly running my fingers along a countertop in one of the boats earlier, and a splinter of corian caught me under the fingernail. That really hurt. It clotted pretty quickly, fortunately.

Good morning :o)

I wanna be in the light
as You are in the light

Warm day. It rained last night, so wetness covered the cars this morning–except on my machine, safe under its car cover. It’s a losing battle… I need to come to terms with this. No matter how obsessively I maintain it, it’s going to get t-boned by some riced-out Civic with a hang-glider strapped to the trunk or it’s going to throw a piston through the hood, or something. It’s just a possession.

I want to bring our telescope down here. It’s never used at home, and in spite of the fact that it’s nearly always in the corner of the front room, out of the way, it seems to take a surprising amount of abuse. It’s been a while since I’ve been stargazing. I’ve probably forgotten who half the constellations are now; they used to be so familiar to me. The night skies here are such a perfect amalgam of atmospheres–the bright city sky to the west where civilization is more concentrated–heck, present, the sky to the east is deeply dark over the ocean. The lights of the west are low on the horizon, giving the globe of the sky an eerie, bottom-lit aura. The stars are bright, and even successfully invade the western light. Thin lavender wisps of clouds trail off in the evening, and the sea breeze picks up. The air is cool, but still humid and full of life, as the salt plays havoc with the curls of your hair. Yes, I will go out tonight a greet friends long neglected.

“There are no interfering parts.”

That’s what I like to see when I’m doing an assembly analysis of this dumb redesigned galley. Crankin’ along, caffeinated.

When am I going to do some real design work, though? I wanna ideate and sketch.

No words of wisdom this morning. Perhaps I’ll feel more enlightened or something this evening. Just Pro/E and prayer this morning, not much more. Well, Coke too, but I need to quit drinking that. It stunts your growth, you know.

I’m on a Sarah McLachlan kick at the moment–is there a purer voice in music?

The cold air breathes through the raindrops of my thoughts, dripping onto my heart, evaporating. The colder part of me wonders if she will return to me singing that song, or if a different tune will be her accompaniment. Small blizzards of emotion pass, and I see no clearer than before.

“It doesn’t mean much / It doesn’t mean anything at all.”

And there she stands, brown locks of shimmering hair which kindle the embers time had neglected. Preconceptions, pieces of mortal reasoning fall away at His prompting, and things unfold anew like the petals of a lily. Her eyes reflect the cloudless sky, and imitate the soft patterings of the creek beside our clasped hands. Fervent words are exchanged, blackened, crumbling crusts fall away and reveal warm, beating flesh…

“The life I’ve left behind me / is a cold one.”

Insomnia sucks. 4 hours, maybe? *sigh* I need your prayers, everyone.

Alternately busy and slow today here at work… At the moment I am toying incessantly with the little widgets and doodads by my keyboard. There are two hose clamps, three plastic thingamajigs, a metal angle bracket, and washers of assorted sizes… And now Bob’s furtively surfing eBay Motors. Must participate.

:o)

I made peanut butter waffles for the first time by myself this morning. That was hard (if you don’t know, don’t ask).

Dreams last night–good, but detailed and odd, just the way I like them to be. It doesn’t happen very often. I was parking my car, and accidentally bumped another car, or something. In any case, it didn’t damage my car, but the other car bumped and bashed around the parking lot like a runaway shopping cart, smashing into other cars and such. I parked my car and acted like I didn’t know what had happened… The other car eventually ended up in a thicket of trees beside the parking lot. All the commotion had caused a police car to show up on the scene, though. The officer, a young woman, stepped out, and I explaned to her that I thought the parking brake must not have been on the other car… She was standing above me, on a wall, and I was further down in the grass. She had dark hair and delicately drawn features, and exuded a certain tenderness, in spite of the situation (this WAS a dream, after all, and anyway, by this point, the police thing had all but slipped away…) I was talking with her; I don’t remember what about, when, in a lull in the conversation, I heard myself say, spontaneously, “You’re very pretty.” I was completely mesmerized, and had been for some time. She stumbled for words, said, “Thank you,” very softly, blushed (this was night, but I could tell in spite of the darkness), and turned away suddenly. She climbed down from the wall and we talked more. At this point the night sky lit up with thousands upon thousands of meteor streaks, firy trails illuminating the ground like it was day. We watched it together, hand in hand. It felt complete and new and secure. To have your advances returned in such femininity and modesty… *sigh* That’s what I want so much… Forget about the flirting, where’s the romance? The patient romance of a lifetime, not the casual cheapness so prevalent in our society.

The dream went on in incredible detail, including a part about LOTR and about a doctor who was making a new type of pencil. More on that later.

Kayaking is a workout. The seat wasn’t ergonomic at all, and the effect the paddle has on your hands is akin to raking the yard–blisters can appear quickly. Otherwise, it was great, even in spite of the fact that all three of us nearly got sideswiped by a very large boat as we were pulling away from the shore and learning how to maneuver the vessels… Well, not nearly, but the boat was looming very large. Looking out over the intracoastal waterway, nearly at eye-level with the surface of the water, nothing in your ears except the brisk wind and the splish of the paddles, skimming over oyster bars… It was relaxing. My shoulders are going to be sore tomorrow, most likely.

The car runs great again. I discovered the source of the problem and rectified it… Now, when to sell Twinkie becomes the question of the moment. One of the Bobs at work wants it, and I know he would take good care of it. It’s just a matter of time and confidence I have in the Supra to not leave me stranded. I think I will replace the cam cover gaskets again and then start negotiations with Bob. Yeah.

The tide was very low this evening as I ran on the beach, leaving a thread of seawater stranded by the outgoing tide in a low channel on the beach. I had to leap over it a couple of times, but all in all, the beach was wide and open. A little boy ran with me for a ways, laughing. I smiled at him and chased him a little bit. He got a little scared, I think, and ran to his parents, who were walking further up the beach, and hid behind one of them, still laughing.

At least twice, I’ve been in grocery stores, shopping, minding my own business, and a child will be having a conversation with his or her mother, get distracted, look at me, and say something to the effect of, “Daddy?” to which the mother responds that no, it’s not their daddy. Do I look fatherly? Or simply older? I’m not sure. Perhaps the child is just so out of touch with their real father that they say that to every tallish male that crosses their path, which would be very sad indeed. Something to ponder.

It runs. And it sounds beautiful, as well, no more annoying ticking, just a sonorous turbocharged inline 6. There is no more beautiful engine sound than that except for a turbo’d rotary in full tilt. That’s goosebump material for sure. It still needs a little tweaking, but that’s just detail work. I feel very blessed to have found the exhaust leak and fixed it, and even without using my new $30 turbo-to-exhaust gasket. Guess I’ll save that for some other time. In any case, I was encouraged. Perhaps I’m not as inept a mechanic as I thought I was, or, the more likely answer, God knew I needed something this evening and blessed me with this discovery. If I get responses back from the listserve tomorrow about the fine tuning I still need to do, I should be humming nicely around St. Augustine by tomorrow night. That will be nice.

I like Geno a lot. I’m comfortable around him. We went to a touristy oriental restaurant this evening, just checking it out. It was alright, kind of expensive, but after the week we’ve had, I think it’s okay. We had some good conversation about our respective approaches to dating and such, and Geno thought our waitress was cute. I think his choice of dishes owed more to her presentation of her recommendations off the menu than his actual preferences… I base this theory on the fact that he told her wanted that particular dish as she was halfway through a sentence in her presentation. We walked around downtown, bought some ice cream, strolled around, talking, sat in on a couple of ghost tours, drove back to his place, and just watched television, lying on the floor. It was relaxing. Tomorrow is jetskiing. We’re going to sleep well tomorrow night, I can guarantee you that.

Perhaps I’ll even find some furniture tomorrow… Something to look into on the morn. To bed, to bed.

Driving to work today, right before the 312 bridge, I fished my Winter Solstice tape off the floor and popped it in the tape deck. I know it’s a bit unseasonal, but I wanted to hear George Winston’s interpretation of Greensleeves, one of the most beautiful piano pieces you will ever hear. The chords began just as I was descending the second half of the bridge, and looking in my rearview mirror, I could see the black silouettes of the cars against the orange glow of the sky at sunrise, their headlights like eyes peering out of a fleeting darkness. The piece continued as I was rounding a bend along a back road to work, and I saw the large glow of the sun, just dim enough to be looked at for a few moments at a time, sitting on the horizon, glowing, rejuvenated through the black reeds and thickets which stood on the water between us. Mixed with the icy ebb and flow of the music, the moment was breathtaking.

I was immensely encouraged last night, first by God, then by my father. I love my dad. He must have talked for a good half hour, speaking life and encouragement to me. It was wonderful. Then and now, I have a hope, a confidence, that God will lead me to the one He has chosen for me, someone who I will complement and who will complement me. It may sound like a given, but I realized again that He’s made me a certain way, and He rejoices in His creation. I’m loved. It’s a new beginning, and I’m waking up, shining my light anew, by His grace.

I wish it would rain.

This is a pretty boat.

Wild morning–I walked up the stairs to the engineering department at 7 only to find everyone sitting around in the darkness. The power had gone out, and we were helpless without computers, and the rest of the plant was pretty helpless without power tools. After I read the funnies in the paper Bob brings in, Bob (another one), Ray, and I spent about an hour walking around our new offices, a work in progress, before the power came on again. Then we had to wait for Chris to boot up the servers so we could access our files… It was 10:30 before any work started getting done. But it was a good change of pace, and kinda fun :o)

Assez mange. Je retourne au travail maintenant…

Three cheese ravioli with Italian sausage sauce. Mmm. Je mange comme un roi. It’s very good… This evening has been pleasant, if tempered with some difficulty. I suppose that’s to be expected, though. I’m trying to find a new book to read in an effort to stay off the computer those nights when I don’t have much to do. I think I will read Cold Mountain. My mom gave it to me as a gift and it’s followed me expectantly many places, but has never been read. Yes, I will do that.

I’m learning two things: Patience, and what it means to have my Hope in Him. God is leading me in new places… All the more reason I wish I had someone down here to bounce things off of and interact with.

*sigh*

That comes back to the patience part, though. I’m in His will; I know this (much as it conflicts with my own, I do have something you could call a peace)… If you’re praying for me, pray that I would take initiative when and where I should, and that I would see more of the possibilities that surround an issue before I make a decision.

Something inside me tells me I’m going to be somewhere else in the world in a year or so. I wonder if this is my own wanderlust flaring up or whether it goes deeper than that. I would like many things. I would like to go to Moody, or return back to North Carolina and take missionary pilot courses at Piedmont Bible College in Moxville. I need to look into correspondance courses and things like that in order to build up my credentials. But at the same time I need to focus on the here and now, hearing His voice, taking things one step at a time. “I do what I see my Father doing,” Someone said once. I will join Him in His movements in the present.

One thing I was thinking about as I was bolting components back on the car (which went well; I got the entire intake plenum hooked back up), as far as a career, I’ve always wanted to do something that little kids say they want to do when they grow up. They always say, “I want to be an artist/pilot/policeman/inventor/astronaut/ballerina/circus ringleader,” never “cashier/accounts receivable supervisor/real estate agent/member of middle management.” It’s just a silly thing, and God will lead me wherever he wants, but it occurred to me then. Do kids ever say, “I want to design boats?” Hmm.

To the gym with me.

It’s all uphill from here as far as jobs are concerned. I really miss JAARS. That was as close as an ideal place to work as I can imagine.

The dark clouds are rolling in again as the sun beats down on the concrete outside. Shades are imperative.

Pretty quiet in here this morning. I think it’s rather ironic that someone without a strong penchant for wine is (re)designing the wine cabinet for one of our boats. They want it to be able to hold six bottles instead of just four… Gee, I wonder why.

The backs of my arms are cold from the air conditionning. It has to be cold in the mornings, though, since the A/C isn’t strong enough to cool the office down during the heat of the day. We’ll be in a new office soon enough, though.

I couldn’t read the book last night. It’s too soon.

Dreams, inconsistent angel things
Horses bred with star laced wings
But it’s so hard to make them fly,
Fly, fly

We have forgotten
(am I in love with this?)
How it used to be
(my constant broken ship)
How it used to be
(don’t go I’ll shoot you down)
How it used to be…
(I’m starting to like this town)

— Matt Slocum, Sixpence

My favorite part of chasing my brothers around the yard was always the instant where they would think I wasn’t following anymore, that I had backed off, so they would back off, only to turn around and realize that I was still back there, closer than ever, and would laugh, wide-eyed, and sprint ahead in terror. It was great fun. And when I caught them we would roll around on the grass, wrestling. I could pin Paul until a couple of years ago… Then he got 6’1 and 220 lbs. Big. Can’t do that anymore…

:o)

The scent of the sand on the beach after a hard afternoon rain is unique… It’s as if the outstretched arm of the ocean, the rains, gently brushed the sands with its fingertips, leaving a salty, pungent residue. It’s like the smell of wet earth, but gritter, more windswept.

And if you set your eyes just right while walking along the shores, the ocean becomes your companion; if you make your eyes the same grey as the waters, they enter in and your mind is filled with the rushing of the waves. You become intimately aware of the wind buffeting your hair, but at the same time, all the sensations merge into one: the ocean, the power, the stateliness of the waves crashing, crashing.

Breathing.

I remember running through the wet grass
Falling a step behind
Both of us never tiring
Desperately wanting

Hmm. I was reading another guy’s journal today as he was gushing about his car, and realizing I do that, don’t I? It sounds pretty silly, doesn’t it? Even if you work on your car yourself… I think I’ll try to stick to less automotive topics in the future. Enough show-offy geekiness. Yeah.

I have another car… So, could we say that my new white Toyota is “Supra-fluous?” Ha. Okay, nobody got that. Well, some of you did. For the benefit of the rest of you, my new car is a Toyota Supra. You may now resume your regularly scheduled programming, already in progress…

I lost a huge beautiful journal entry. I hate my computer.

Bedtime.

Drives at night are compellingly invigorating. I flew around the long sweeping bends of roads along the coastline a few night ago. The top was off the car, and the heater kept my feet and legs toasty while the rest of me shivered a bit. It was chilly. What kept me shivering more than this, though, were the web of stars over my head coupled with the pristine smoothness of the car. The wind swept through the cabin as the speed pressed forward, and I breathed deeply. How I wished I could have closed my eyes, or tilted my head back so that only the stars filled my field of vision, but at the rate I was going most of the time, the road required a bit more attention. Seamless blasts up and down the coastline exorcised the tenseness I felt after battling with the internals of the car most of the day.

Much as I would like to laud the accelerator pedal as the end-all-be-all of stress relievers, there was more pent-up within me than I knew. Even the most precision-crafted machinery, the most forceful delivery of power, or the most edenic back roads could not have dealt with the feelings that pursued my soul. Thanks to the persistence of my God in rendering me peace and speaking words of assurance to me, things are now on the upswing. I will praise Him for this, and for many other deeds. I am lonely, but friendly, stressed, but not overwhelmed, confused, but learning, young, but gaining in wisdom, complacent sometimes, but optimistic, all by His grace. The best is yet to come.

Well, when I floored it, I got 6 psi. All is well. Never mind :o) The car is my most consistent companion down here at the moment, seeing as how Geno is in Orlando visiting a few of his plethora of cousins scattered around the country, and Bob is married with kids and has everything associated with that to deal with. Besides, neither of them are really at the same point in their lives as I am anyway. I did have a good time visiting Bob’s house yesterday, though.

I came over to borrow a bolt cutter for the weekend (which I ended up not needing). I followed his beat-up red Beetle through quiet neighborhoods about 5 minutes from work, past trailers, but we stopped in front of a fence that seemed to only bar the entrance into the woods themselves. After walking through it and getting underneath the foliage, the house appeared. It looked as if it had been built of large slabs of plywood and was surrounded, at least the back side of it, by cages of every size and description. Bob gave me the tour. I was shown four peacocks, two to a cage, that were pacing about but unafraid as we approached the cages. From then I saw an assortment of guinea pigs, chickens, regular pigs, and hamsters as several friendly-looking cats prowled around. By this point I was highly impressed and told Bob this was the coolest thing I had seen in a long time, but the best came next.

Bob opened the door into another section of the backyard, partitioned from everything else. It was his little playground, with all sorts of power tools, workbenches, a band saw, a sandblasting cabinet, and many other things lying about. Then there were the Volkswagens: two Microbuses, four Beetles, a dune buggy mold, and even an MGA roadster thrown in for good measure, all in various states of decay. I think between all of them, there was more rust than good metal, but I still couldn’t wipe the smile off my face, nor did I want to. We went into his shed, where toolboxes and tools were crammed, but organized, around an old BSA motorcycle from the 50’s that he was working on. Bob fished out the bolt cutter while we talked about old cars and mechanic tricks. Everything was dirty and old, but it was his domain; he kept it organized and knew where everything was. I stepped outside as we talked; he lit up a cigarette and procured two peacock feathers for me from their stash (after the male sheds). He talked about working on cars back in the 60’s and how he met his wife, working as a mechanic, living on a trimaran (three-hulled sailboat) he built himself. He told me about his plans for the shop; I volunteered my help anytime he needed it. I would see him at work every day anyway.

He walked me out as his family drove up and we were introduced. His wife had dark hair in one long braid, large dark-rimmed glasses, and was a perfect counterpart to him with his long grey hair tied back in a ponytail. His son and daughter, 7 and 10, looked positively ordinary next to their ex-hippie parents. Had I been their age and gone to their school, I’m sure I would have been incredibly jealous of the two kids for living in a house so amazing. I said goodbye and drove home, and pinned one of the peacock feathers in my kitchen. I work with some colorful people.

Anyone want to race? Anyone? I’m hoping for one of those moments where two competitors vie against one another and after a ferocious battle, decide they’re evenly matched and become fast friends. See? See what I’m willing to do? I’m willing to allow my car not to win in order to secure a friendship *sigh* Oh well. At least stuff worked today. I went to Ace hardware just down the road and had a field day in the discounted tool bin, picking up vice grips, a hacksaw, tin snips, and some other assorted odds and ends for a very reasonable price. I got the rust underneath the battery tray taken care of and Armor All-ed the interior, among many other things. The car looks darn good. Now, where’s that digicam…

I’m still just reading 4 psi on the boost gauge in second and third, though. I know my turbo-to-exhaust gasket is bad and needs to be replaced, which could account for some of that, but a reading 2.8 psi lower than the maximum pressure? I don’t think the stock gauge would be that inaccurate. I wasn’t really digging into the pedal, either. I’ll have to do a couple more boost runs tomorrow. What I really need to do, though, is drop the catalytic converters and fabricate a SS downpipe… That would fix any problems, I’m sure. Perhaps I should get a license plate for the car first?

:o)

The day has been idyllic, if solitary. The breeze is gentle, the sun is clear, and the beach is packed. Summer should be interesting. I wonder if can talk to Rick (my boss) into working extra hours in order to take vacation time over the summer. It’s something I was talking to Geno about over lunch yesterday; that we can’t expect our friends and relatives to work their vacations around the week that the plant is shutdown over the summer. I need to discuss it some more with Geno and Rick. It’s a long shot, but here’s hoping.

I miss her today immensely. It’s been the ideal day to promenade through the streets and alleyways of St. Augustine, fly a kite, or just walk on the beach, basically, to do things that are just no fun to do by yourself. Of course, I don’t miss her presence just for the sake of companionship, but for the unspeakable femininity and tenderness she breathes with every movement… Retourne a moi, cherie. Tu me manques…

It won’t do / to dream of caramel / to think of cinnamon / and long for you

One of my favorite parts about reading a book, most any book, is the way that the phrases and sentence structures tend to filter down into my own speech and writing. The archaic quality of the language might not make it through entirely, but the general cadence of the words, the ebb and flow of the paragraphs manifests itself a least a little. I decided to pick up the third installment of the Lord of the Rings again and am well into it. It’s taking a bit to really get going, but I have no doubt things will heat up significantly before too long. I am reading with great anticipation, however, since all of the more prescient characters, nay, people, in the story have given overwhelming indications that a malevolent doom is emminent, but I have trouble imagining a more ferocious onslaught of evil than what they underwent during the last book… All of the previous predictions have (obviously) been right on the mark, so I am very eager to see Tolkien’s imagination tackle the prophecies he’s set up for himself. As I read, of course, I am increasingly doubtful about the future two movies ability to communicate satisfactorily the range of landscapes and lifeforms the author has conjured up, but we’ll just have to see and watch them and reserve our judgments until the movie is through.

It’s interesting how our moral imaginations are stirred by the depiction of such traditions as chivalry and knighthood and everything associated with the middle ages. The living conditions during that period of time were at least as low, if not lower, than any other period in history, and yet we cling nostalgically to that era rather than to perhaps a civilization more technologically advanced, such as Rome or Greece. Maybe the morals we have ingrained are more directly related to the ones they held them? Perhaps it’s the time frame that’s closer to our own that creates the wistfulness for those ideals… Or maybe the memory of moral deeds and ideals lasts longer than a fleeting new advance in technology. I suppose technology is fundamentally ethically neutral (those some would argue otherwise), the bare mechanics of it, at least–though what is technology? Can a new technology be implemented and exist indepedent of ethical ramifications? Probably not–but that’s a topic for another post. At any rate, the vast majority of us strive to ever better ourselves, to do the right thing, whereas technology, while convenient and certainly pretty cool, simply exists in comparison, it is thus the highest manifestations of our moral aspirations that pull hardest on our heartstrings. It’s just things like this that scamper across the plain of my mind as I read.

I spent way too much money on food last night. I hope it will last me a while. Spices and condiments are like tools–They don’t do a whole lot as far as many dishes are concerned, but each of them is absolutely essential for one dish, so you have to have a full complement in order to make anything. It’s the same with tools. I’m not going to use a 2 1/8 in socket for everything, but I can’t get a wheel hub nut off without one. Then there’s something like a 1/2 inch breaker bar that I use all the time; it’s kind of like olive oil–good for many things. I could go on…

It’s slow. I’m emerging from my early morning funk slowly as well, as the day passes, thanks to the encouragement and prayers of a certain young woman whom I love very much, and others who I love not quite with the same degree of earnestness, but appreciate just the same :o)

Dreary mornings give way to radiant afternoons. The day redeems itself… But that sounds like I’m evaluating the day in light of my own preferences, doesn’t it? Every morning is a resurrection of the light, a renewing of His mercies. I should be grateful for whatever state the day chooses to present itself. It is nice to be able to see the sun, however :o)

I’m tired again. It was wonderful to see everyone this weekend and just reaffirmed how much I need to find a good friend of my own down here. The car performed flawlessly… It’s interesting how word gets around when one has a new vehicle. I must’ve given half a dozen people rides this weekend. ‘Twas fun.

Twenty more minutes, then I’m taking off. I need to get my vehicle running tonight. I worked on it over lunch today and made a little bit of progress.

I’ll be seeing everyone in less than 48 hours. And the time crawls.

Planes and trains and automobiles (and boats!)…

I saw a rainbow last evening. I came home from work feeling that rain was on its way; the sky was becoming more overcast and a cooler wind was blowing in gusts. I was a bit frustrated with the whole situation since I don’t get much daylight after I get off work in order to tinker with the car, and now the rain was going to erase whatever time I did have. It was thin and didn’t last but a few minutes–the brunt of the rain passed north of St. Augustine. A few minutes after it passed off and the dripping had lessened, I headed out to the car with my tools, and there in the eastern sky was the most complete rainbow I have ever seen. Other folks from around the apartment complex was outside admiring it as well. It stretched a full 180-degree arc and was bright and clear with the sun setting at my back. Above it was a faint second rainbow, reversed. Any antagonism I had towards the rain evaporated as I stood there, looking eastward.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been aware of the clear beauty of the morning. Elementary school, actually, was the last time I remember looking around me at the drippy, piercing sunbeams cutting through the trees, and the hearing the sharp symphony of the birds. Today I just sat on my bed, awake, and breathed in the morning air. I wish there were birds’ nests outside my window, but palm trees aren’t the most condusive to nest-building, I suppose. I’m looking forward to daylight savings time and having the sunrise begin an hour earlier, so I’ll get to see it on my way to work, at least for a little while, like I did when I first started back in February. I’m more aware of the seasons now, even in this practically season-less place, because of the changing time of the sunrise. The months pass and there’s progressively more light when I wake up in the mornings.

And suddenly a certain George Harrison song from Abbey Road pops into my head…

Come on, 5 o’clock… :o) I’ve virtually nothing today except print some machinery layouts for Rick. Of course, as soon as the almighty Charlie reviews my drawings, I’m sure I’ll be busy as anything, but there’s no telling when he’ll stop by. He’s just unpredictable like that.

They haven’t set the week this summer when the plant will be shut down and we’ll get off. Turns out it’s been whatever week the first of August falls on for about 5 years now, if that’s any precedent.

*sigh*

I want out. It’s warm outside, but crystal-clear and beautiful.

Slow, slow mornings… Wishing I was elsewhere, but doing my best. At least the printers are cooperating with me this morning. I swear those things have fully formed personalities…

From time to time the office receives various periodicals, some about boatbuilding, some about the industry itself, and some that advertise various upscale yachts for sale. There’s one to the left of me on my portion of the desk–Yachts International Magazine. This thing is just way too glossy. Pages upon pages of megayachts for sale, the huge ones you see at Monte Carlo or Miami. It’s interesting how the majority of people you talk to would say that they would never buy something like that if they had that much money… But who’s to say what your mindset would be if you found yourself that well-off? Granted, I’m sure not many millionaires spring for 100-foot luxury yachts, but there aren’t that many millionaires to begin with, so who knows.

I’m tired and jittery. Contradiction? Evidently not.

We have boost.

I brought the car back down today… and I couldn’t be happier with it. The previous owner was amazing in how meticulous he detailed everything that he had done to the car. It made the 7-odd hour trip from Atlanta down here just fine, with a few escapades along the way. I can now officially put the evil SUVs in their place: “No, the left lane belongs to me. You are not as fast and invicible as you think you are.” Vigilanteism–stupid male thing… I can quit anytime I want…

:o)

I took a scenic back road on the last stretch to St. Augustine. I removed the center panel off the roof (it comes off) and had a nice leisurely (honest) drive back home. I fulfilled a long standing ambition as I was puttering around just above the speed limit, when I came up behind a mid-80s Nissan 300ZX, pimped out, trying to look way faster than it really was, and I could hear a faint thump from the subs in the trunk. I downshifted to fourth, mashed the gas pedal, heard the turbo spool up, and practically sucked his doors off as I blew by… That was nice. My ego has been fed today. I will now put it to bed :o)

Argh… I hate staying late at work–especially on Fridays. All this junk has to be done by Monday, though. :op on upper management and their stupid deadlines.

At least the Taurus (a.k.a. the devil car) is gone… A slightly rednecky married couple came and took it away this morning on their trailer. Thus ends another automotive saga–just in time for another to begin. I’m going to pick up my new (old) car tomorrow in Atlanta. Should be an interesting drive… :o)

The album version of “Godspeed” has officially replaced “Flaming June” as my favorite BT song. I have a demo version but it doesn’t sound nearly this good… This is officially the song I’m going to play first thing as I drive the car back from Atlanta. Well, maybe “Mad Skillz” We’ll see.

My houseguests left a few hours ago. They had to return, as expected, since one of the members of the party forget their keys… That person shall remain unnamed, however :o)

I’m alone again. The apartment is mine. I can hear the wind chimes outside the open window in the living room again. Come back? It’s beautiful here.