Much, much better this morning. I went home a little early yesterday, managed to make it into bed, and slept for a solid three hours. I even got into bed last night around 12:30, no mean feat for this night owl. Sunday night (working very late), and Monday evening (playing tennis with Aaron for several hours) had conspired against my energy levels, and last night at least partially recovered them. Another good night and I’ll be set, but at least I don’t feel like I need a nap as soon as I get up.
I’ve always had a bad habit of comparing myself to others. It’s quite ingrained into my personality, since I’ve been doing it for years, to the point where hardly notice it anymore, but I’ve been more consciously aware of it recently. It really hit home yesterday as I was driving back from work. I was thinking about my car, and the hobby that it is, and how my dad thinks that I’m too impulsive with money with regards to upgrading or fixing my car. My natural response, which I caught this time, was, “Yeah, and he’s not impulsive with buying golf equipment or model trains.” But then I thought, “Don’t compare yourself to someone else, compare yourself to the standard of how you should be doing and how you really should be spending your money, not necessarily what you buy, but the attitude with which you do it, and the priorties that reflects.” It wasn’t a guilt trip, just a little twinge of conviction, and I’m glad for it. It’s funny how I always told myself not to compare when I did and I came out (in my mind) behind someone else in some area or another, but when I came out (or so I thought) ahead, I wouldn’t notice that I was comparing myself at all. It’s only in retrospect that I can see that the habit was symbiotic with my personality to a much greater degree than I had known. It’s nice to have my viewpoint realigned, by His grace. It brings life.
This probabaly doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, but it helps me to write it out sometimes.
I’ll be at the Gazette this afternoon for “Matt’s issue” number 2. Got the insert done yesterday, and they loved it (it’s really nice when a client uses words like “perfect” to describe your design). More later.
Insightful post. =) I should remember this…
I always compare myself with others too… and feel down because I feel that I’m lacking in some way.