make me a witness
take me out
out of darkness
out of doubt
Morning commute made me miss specific moments… And my tired, semi-awake state didn’t help, when my mind takes the most inane threads of thought and runs with them for minutes at a time, like I could think about peach fuzz or aircraft carriers for half an hour, or the same snippet of song lyrics, which I may not have even heard recently, will play over and again in my mind at a deafeningly loud thought volume, drowning out everything, making the morning completely involuntary. But this morning I missed the expression of trust that was her laying her head in my lap and sleeping peacefully as I drove. I missed how I was able to stretch my arm across her and feel the slow rhythm of her breathing contrasting deeply with the cadence of the road my other hand sensed as it held the wheel. There was a peace there, a solace, a wide-eyed morning smile when she woke for a moment and looked up at me, still vigilant. I’m trying to describe a singular emotion via reams of run-on sentences, but it was so simple and so strong that it loses its ability to be described as it is scaled down for description…
In any case, I missed that this morning for a moment in between bites of peanut butter toast. Goodness only knows when I’ll feel it again. The funny thing is, it’s not something I can necessarily pursue as an end in itself, since the complexities our of relationship that defined the simplicity of the feeling were built up in layers, over time; any attempt to reproduce it would be met with a comparative shallowness… In other words, the experiences we went through and the time spent together created a familiarity, memories sprung back into my mind, my smile was more layered when I looked down at her momentarily, and those things are symbotic with the feeling; they were part of the experience.
Patience…
I won’t weigh you down
with good intentions
won’t make fire out of clay
or other inventions
The difference in our day-dreams is that yours are memories… while mine are things that have yet to happen… and they might never will…
Sigh… Lovely post. =)
Ahhh patience… It is needed.
The question becomes, then, is the longing of rememberance more poignant than the longing of expectation?
Thank you, Helene :o)
Agreed about patience. Go away for now, emotions…
“Witness” by Sarah McLachlan, right? Her voice is so beautiful. I think my favorite is “Do What You Have To Do”.
Patience is so very difficult.
That’s it :o) Her voice is amazing… And I do like that song too, very much. Have you heard “Ice Cream”?
Agreed. But we do what we have to do…
love is better than chocolate / everyone here knows how to cry
Yes, yes I have. :) Also, she sings a beautiful song on the Toy Story 2 soundtrack called “When Somebody Loved Me”… the lyrics, the strings, her voice… so pretty.
You know, school would be a lot easier if I could learn and memorize facts and such like I do lyrics to songs.
Really? That was her singing that song? Wait–on the soundtrack, you say. So it might not have been her singing it in the movie itself. Am I correct?
I know what you mean about song lyrics. We’d be completely flabbergasted, I’m sure, if we only knew how many songs we know by heart.
And I’ve said it before: School would be so much easier without those pesky classes. Why can’t they do something about them?
:o)
have you ever seen the movie “signs”?
It’s her singing in the movie. I remember her name being on the credits. But… umm… you’re correct. :)
I wish there was some way I could count how many songs I knew from memory. “No, I can’t count to 10, but I know 473 songs from memory!”