keep moving, keep moving
So I’m sitting here nursing a Newcastle and munching on Rold Gold Thin Pretzels. It’s late but I got up late today, had a late “lunch” around 4, and have just been snacking since.
I just got back from my church’s singles group New Year’s party. Why do people get together if they’re not going to make an effort to interact? This mystifies me. I’m not the most outgoing person in the world–far from it actually–but when in a group setting I try to pose questions of the group, tell stories, etc. I’m not saying this happened earlier tonight, but on some Sunday lunches after church there would be several minute (or what felt like it) silences around the table, just people quietly chewing and the clink of silverware. I can understand lack of chemistry and all, but surely it’s not that hard to make an effort to interact? It’s like we’re so used to being passively entertained via the television or other screened devices that we’ve lost the ability to take the initiative in getting to know one another. We go to parties and sit back and wait to be entertained. Conversation is reduced to pithy small talk that fits our limited mental maps and is completely adrift when it wanders outside those boundaries. I venture a theory or ask an opinion about something and my conversation partner returns a few filler words. Do people not think critically about the world around them anymore? Granted, it’s not representative of the majority of my conversations, but still… When it does happen, it stays with me.
I dunno. Needless to say this is the major reason going to a movie as a group (or worse yet, on a date) is not the ideal scenario. It’s nice to have people to go to the movies with, but couple it with something interactive…
Anyway. Dick Clark hosted part of his own show earlier but he certainly wasn’t sounding too swift. The end of an era perhaps?
Happy new year, all.
I completely feel ya on this… it’s like some people only want to “discuss” when it’s written down on the agenda. It actually takes a flier that says
Now, this is in no way a slam to such things (I quite enjoy knowing that everyone is prepared for me to argue with them), but it can’t be the only time people want to talk! Even if it’s not discussion, it should be stories with a point. Not, “Yeah, I took out the trash yesterday, and it smelled,” followed by a chuckle. I prefer to tell stories that have meaning… not just one with relevance to the conversation at hand (though sometimes that’s all it ends up being), but one that is a window to who I am. I’m usually hoping that with telling a story I not only say, “Hey, this is true!” but also, “Hey, this is a good story to gage who I usually am!”
Anyway, that’s my take. I’m still trying to figure out if some people are just shy (doesn’t fit most of the time) or if they just have poor people skills (always a possibility) or if the old (maybe not too old) adage, “single for a reason” is just heavily represented in the people with which I surround myself. I’m hoping less and less for the last one there… if it’s true, I’m not sure what it says about me!
Anyway, Happy New Year!
Long-winded comment, sorry!
Addressing the lack of conversation around Sunday lunches:
This pertains only to meals, but the answer to the lack of conversation could be as simple as people are hungry and the food is good. I know there’s usually conversation as some people talk while others eat, but it could be just that you go out to eat with hungry people. Now I’m sure this isn’t the only occurance of this phenomena, or you wouldn’t talk about it, but that’s my guess…
I find it difficult to talk when there’s food in front of me..
True. I suppose different people have different views and priorities with regard to mealtimes; it just seems like, well, Sunday lunches have that spontaneous, emphasis on fellowship-as-opposed-to-just-sustenance feel to them.
But I’ll definitely bear your counter-theory in mind.
Happy new year to you too, Elizabeth!
That flyer’s pitch sounds like a great mission statement for Coffee Theology, with perhaps a clause in there about the emphasis on a biblical worldview :) I should paraphrase that in my next e-mail to the group.
Yeah, just remember to mention the writing credits! ; ) And I think you’re right, maybe a corrected version would have a blip at the end like, “Theology will be discussed, but no exegetical experience needed,” would make it more Coffee Theology worthy.
By the way, in my mind, when I read, hear, or say Coffee Theology, I’m really thinking Earl Grey Theology, but I guess that’s neither here nor there!