the other side of the coin?
I’m doing marginally better today. Had lunch at Carrburrito’s with David and Mihali, which was nice. It’s been a while since I’ve had some Actual Human Contact™ (aside from immediate family members yesterday). I need to get out of my own head more often.
In the interest of a fair and balanced journal (like the Fox News Journal!), how about a cursory list of things that it’s good for women to know how to do? I haven’t pondered this yet, at least not in an objective sense–I’ve always thought any list that I would try to compile would end up bearing too close a resemblance to a run-down of attributes I look for in a girl (as far as a relationship possibility). Bit of a conflict of interest there. But here goes, as universal as I can think of. Most girls should be able to:
– Drive a stickshift
– Climb a tree
– Play chess
– Carry a tune
I don’t have that many. I’ve been sitting here for five minutes trying to think of another that would fit the paradigm for inclusion. It’s considerably harder to think of them than for the previous list. Hmm. The mental mechanism I use to come up with these is simply to pose myself the question, “How would I complete this sentence for the gender group in question: ‘You never know when you’ll have to…'” Thinking about it in that manner tends to rule out the mundane, run-of-the-mill essentials (like being able to decorate an apartment or cook a square meal), focusing instead on skills that are just nice to have in one’s “tool belt” of capabilities, for occasional, spontaneous situations.
With that in mind, anything else I should add?
* * * * * *
Aaron and I used to always complain to one another that there seemed to be a double-standard between men and women in terms of conversational maintenance–with the women with whom we were acquainted at least. We would compare notes on how we always seemed to be the ones starting and maintaining the conversation, while the girl just responded in kind and didn’t fire back many (or any) questions our way. I think we both got somewhat frustrated that with the majority of girls we knew, if we didn’t spur the conversation along with another question or observation, all talk would eventually cease. I remember trying “experiments” a couple of times where I would just stop cold after I’d received a response to the second or third question (with a polite nod or two to smoothly taper off the discourse), and invariably we’d just stand around silently for two, three, four, five minutes until I fired another question her way.
This was high school, mind you, matters have somewhat improved, and I certainly don’t consider myself the world’s greatest conversationalist (if anything I feel worse off now than I did then, paradoxically). But I remember it was something Aaron and I would talk about and shake our collective heads over in mild frustration.
Most women should be able to:
– defend their political views
– diagram a sentence (it’s true)
– change a diaper
– prepare a bottle (and baby food. men should know how to do this, too, whether or not they’re parents)
– change a flat tire
– stand up for themselves
– coordinate an outfit; dress appropriately
– run a mile without dying
– leave a bad date
– cook nutritious meals (another thing men should be able to do)
I hate gender stereotypes and whatnot. This is a weird list.
Change a flat tire! I was thinking of that one not half an hour ago… Thanks :)
I don’t see it so much as about gender stereotypes as having skills that transcend the stereotypes (like men knowing how to sew on a button or give a good backrub and such like).
Also, I can only do three of the four you listed, but since I can do two of them rather well… I’m not too upset.
Men should also know how to coordinate an outfit and dress appropriately.
:)
This is true. But dressing oneself and cooking nutritous meals are more of everyday things… I tried to leave those off the list as much as I could. Otherwise I think both lists would have been much longer.
I disagree. There are many, many men and women who have no clue how to dress appropriately (for an interview, date, opera, etc.) and cook foods other than spaghetti and waffles, so many that I find it necessary to include such things on a list.
I mean hey, you include “order wine” on your list.
We basically agree, trust me :) I never said that there aren’t men and women out there who don’t know how to dress themselves or cook decently, and I wholeheartedly agree that we should all know how to do those things. But what I was trying to constrain the lists to were things that just pop up in isolated situations and we’re able to handle, whether or not they fit our gender stereotype, as it were.
Okay, okay.
HOW ABOUT THIS.
Men and women should be able to:
– plan a trip to Europe
Word.
Well. I’m glad we can agree on one thing.
ok, um, you guys have *both* had conversations with me, right?
hahaha
Yes, yes. You’re an exception because:
a. You have strong opinions about things and can back (most of) them up, and in non-essential matters don’t take yourself too seriously, so you don’t get offended if people disagree (however amusing it might be to poke fun at them :)
b. You understand the ebb and flow, the give and take of conversation quite well.
c. You always have great stories to tell (I defy anyone to disagree with this one).
Passive, solely responsive conversation partners (male or female for that matter) were the bulk of who we were frustrated with. You’re anything but :)
ok
So I was also gonna say change a flat tire…but as for the list, I can do all of those things so YAY me! Now you’ve got me thinkin…
Andrea (home fry)
I can do those except changing a flat tire, and I OUTRIGHT REFUSE to change diapers or warm bottles. I reiterate: Baby factory CLOSED! =P
I do hafta say that I’m not terribly good at chess. I’ve only played a few times, and each time, Chris has to remind me what goes where and who moves how.
What about change oil in a vehicle?
That was borderline… I think it’s awesome if a woman can do it, though :)
Rock on, Andrea :) You are a very complete individual, to be sure.
Dang, I meant to comment on the male list you posted but as for this one:
– How and when to write a proper Thank You note
– Use a hammer, screwdriver, and drill
– Walk in heels
Climb a tree? You should consider that most women aren’t quite as tall as you :P
ah, ok ;)
(dang, you should be like, a professional ego-soother or something, haha)
Climb a tree? You should consider that most women aren’t quite as tall as you
:)
It’s meant to imply a modicum of athleticism. Besides…climbing isn’t necessarily easier with longer limbs–sometimes they just get in the way.