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Upon waking this morning, but while still under the covers in bed, I made it a point to review everything I had dreamed about, in hopes of retaining it, but…most of it left me just the same. Physical recollection (i.e. immediate writing about it) it almost always more effective.

I dreamed I went with my roommate David to an interview in the city for a graphic design position, just to be there for moral support. The firm was located in an office overlooking a busy street, with a large glass window bounding the front side of the office. It reminded me very much of some of the stores along the Champs-Elysées in Paris. We found our way upstairs and located those who would be interviewing us, a shorter older woman, who would be David’s eventual supervisor, and her assistant. I just sat there and listened as they went over his portfolio. There seemed to be a lack of chemistry and appreciation between the two parties–many conversational threads and questions ended abruptly and there were awkward silences. I wondered if I should say something, and at length I spoke up. For some reason I talked about children’s literature and mentioned how two of my favorite books were (and are) Where the Wild Things Are and How to Dig a Hole to the Other Side of the World, which the older woman happened to love as well. I talked more about the simplicity of children’s books and speculated about how the challenge in writing them many times must be keeping them simple, or creating a compelling story from few elements. She agreed wholeheartedly. As much as I was connecting with David’s prospective employers, I felt bad since I had just come for moral support and not to dominate the dialogue. The meeting dissolved and we all went our separate ways. The older woman, however, followed me out to the parking lot and I had a sense that she was very keen to offer me the job instead of David. I had in mind to ask for $35/hour if she should mention an hourly rate. She drove a silver Mercedes E-Class with a large version of the three-pointed star logo mounted prominently on the front grille, just like the car I saw in real life a few days ago. She let me drive, and I was surprised to discover that although the car was an automatic, it had a clutch pedal for use at low speeds. We drove out of the parking lot and through narrow streets, nearly sideswiping cars while rumbling over cobblestones. I felt like I was driving through Antibes (another seaside town in France) and turned left to drive up a slight hill and through the stone arch in the town’s peripheral wall, and… I woke up.

I spoke yesterday morning in Bible Fellowship (Sunday School) class. Jonathan, our regular leader, was in Arizona helping his father move and called me last Thursday, asking me to lead the group. My source text was Isaiah 45 and while my discourse ranged all over the place (I am much more used to giving short, efficient comments and not so much at extended speeches), the main thrust of my teaching was on adopting God’s perspective over the events on our life, severing our instinctive connection between our circumstances and attitudes and learning to realize how God works all things in our lives for His glory and our eventual good, whether those things may appear typically good or bad from our earthly vantage point. Realizing this in a deep, deep way fosters spiritual maturity and an unshakeable closeness to Him.

I was nervous, and my public speaking skills still leave much to be desired, but in my weakness and inadequacy He will show Himself strong, and I trust that God will use whatever pieces of what I’ve spoken to edify and encourage those in the class with ears to hear. Diane and Larry both ventured several very good and helpful comments, letting me know that people were actually responding to what I was teaching and being very encouraging. Diane in particular–I wish I could express how much it lifted my spirits to see her smiling face sitting there by the edge of the row. Knowing that she has the effect on me that I can phrase things the way that I want to when I’m with her, and explain myself well, that knowledge projected itself into me, lifted my eyes from the podium in front of me and gave me confidence to speak deliberately. Invaluable.