Interestingly, the standout thought that ran through my mind in the aftermath of the movie viewing last night was a paraphrase of something I’ve heard someone else say, in the context of a discussion on men and women’s respective approaches to long-term relationships: “Women want to marry their best friend.” Hmm.
Of course I can’t vouch for its veracity, but it’s certainly food for thought.
i married mine! :)
I have more than one best friend and polygamy is illegal here. What do I do?
Hope you’re having a lovely day. No, really, I do. :)
Hmm…move to Utah? :)
My day’s been pretty good. I fixed the screeching fan in the office bathroom. I don’t think that thing had been cleaned and lubed since the building was built.
i would make one edit for myself: “women want to marry their best male friend”
i have a couple of “best friends” that are female, that quite frankly i have no interest in marrying ;)
My best friend wants to marry me . . . and my other best friend wouldn’t even dream of kissing me. So I’m at a crossroads.
Although the person I’m dating usually ends up my best friend in a matter of weeks. There’s a problem if the guy doesn’t become my best friend, or if he becomes the second, third, or tenth person I turn to when something is wrong.
What do you think?
I think I can say with a good degree of confidence that the sense in which the original statement was meant was that when a woman decides to marry, the ideal situation is for that man to also be her best friend. The intent was to emphasize the compatibility in terms of emotional responses and personality that is desirable in a husband.
The statement wasn’t meant in the sense that a woman platonically chooses the man she wants to marry from an existing cadre of “best friends.” Perhaps a more accurate phrasing would read, “A woman wants the man that she marries to be her best friend.”
I’ll speak from my own viewpoint and say that I think somebody can fill the role, the slot, as it were, of a girlfriend or more without necessarily exibiting the connection present when someone is my best friend. Being the first person I turn to in a time of need (emotional or situational), that person might provide me with the most immediate comfort, but not the type of comfort or advice that speaks most clearly to who I really am. In other words, if I’m down and out I might need a hug and a listening ear, commodities that I would hope a girlfriend would provide, and oftentimes that’s sufficient, but there’s a deeper connection, a kinship, an understanding, a drawing-out of my best qualities, that I associate with a best friend. And granted, it’s certainly not a completely consistent state of relationship, but I think (or I sincerely hope, at least) that everyone has felt that sense of knowing, in a deep sense, that they’re spending time with their best friend. It’s that knowing, among other things, that we’re after in a mate.
I still have it, and you’re welcome to it if you’ll take it back :) I have theology group from 7-9ish but I should be around most of the rest of the evening if you want to come by and get it.
oh, i know. i was more pointing out that right now i could picture myself being contentedly married to the guy i consider my best friend right now…if he would stop being so abysmally dense on the matter of relationships.
but yes, most women i know do want the man in their life to be a “best friend” that they can rely on in that give-and-take kind of way that is important to best friends. (not sure that’s really conveying what i mean…by brain is post-exam mush at the moment)
:)
Eeew, Utah.
Ah, a Mr. Fix-it™, are we?
Seriously, though, I want to marry a man who becomes my best friend… but so much more. I think there are things that a husband/wife provides that a text book best friend can’t, and vice versa. I’d say that Matt is my best [male] friend, and there’s no way I’d ever marry him. I don’t find him (and he doesn’t find me) attractive on anything other than a platonic level.
haha oh man i can’t explain myself.
You did fine :) I know exactly what you mean.
Well…I fixed it but it broke again because I used silicone spray to lube up the bearings instead of the high-temp grease I meant to bring but didn’t. So I disabled the fan to keep it from screeching in the meantime.
So you keep silicone spray handy?
)
That “)” is the part I left off a text earlier. Make sense?
Why yes, yes I do. It’s far superior to WD-40 in just about every respect.
Yes, that makes sense :)