Was about to head out this morning, and I couldn’t find my car keys. I keep them separate from my house keys, well, at least able to be detached from the bulk of the keys so I can drive without my whole keychain clattering around under the ignition switch. Most days I reattach the two halves as soon as I reach the apartment, so I can find them easily when I need to head out again. But this morning the car key half was nowhere to be found. I scoured high and low, wasting about 15 minutes, making me late. And guess where they turned up? In the freaking ignition to the car! Just dangling there out in the public parking lot for the apartment complex, happy as you please. I mean, who does this? Who forgets their keys in the ignition? No human with an inkling, a modicum of social responsibility I know. I can’t believe myself some days.
And of course I left the keys in the “on” position, so the car’s battery was dead. So I drove the Audi, with expired tags, and prayed that a cop wouldn’t come up on my bumper during my drive to work. I’m trying to get the title signed correctly so I can get the freaking car registered, but the previous owner is persistently AWOL. I guess he just doesn’t want to deal with it any more.
I’m tired of this crap. Not to mention just tired to boot. I’m tired of coming home to no one but my roommates, great as they are, tired of this perpetual tightness that runs across my neck, tired of the way I can never seem to get to bed before 1, tired of the bills that pile up, tired of the way it seems some days it’s all I can do to keep my head above the waterline, to say nothing of pursuing my destiny, tired of owning three cars that don’t run properly and embarass me while driving with clouds of smoke emanating from the tailpipe or sputtering and shaking, etc… Tired of a lot of things. Tired of life, mainly.
But you know what? I have enough money for the things that I need, like food and a roof. I’m completely financially indepedent from my parents. And between three temperamental cars, I make it places. And while in conversation I may not always delve into the core reasons and deeper elements that assail me sometimes, I have great friends that I can be myself around. So I’m blessed in lots of ways, when it comes down to it.