BoldUlysses.com

What a crazy day. I’ve never had one like it, not even remotely. After getting laid off this morning, I came home and just sat for about an hour, trying to get Gene (one of my former bosses) on the phone and pondering the situation. I finally got up off my rear and cleaned the apartment, looking for my badge so I could turn it in at 2 and get my last paycheck. I went to the bank to gather my account information and talked to my landlady about their procedures for early termination of the lease. I updated my resume, which, I might add, doesn’t look too shabby. I got my last check and drove by St. Augustine Marine, where I heard from various people that they were hiring. I picked up an application. I returned home and called Kevin at work, who has many, many contacts in the aeronautical industry, having recently come from a company that designs the interiors of business jets. I took a nap for about half an hour, then got a call from Geno asking me to join them at a local steakhouse. I woke up, drove over, and met some of the guys from the office there. They were nothing but encouraging and supportive. I really love those guys. Was never too keen on the job, but the guys are great. Karl was there, the Mainship boss, as were Geno and Greg, the two Luhrs Pro/E jockeys, and Kevin too, the Mainship Pro/E guy. Talked to him for a good while about possible openings, and this and that; he called one of his friends at the company he came from, B/E Aerospace, and it turns out that they have five openings in Winston-Salem, NC, that they’ve been trying to fill for a long time, and Kevin not only can put me through to the guy in charge, but coach me on the interview and everything. They design aircraft seats, which was exactly what the major project in my portfolio revolves around, and I’ve always had a passion for airplanes anyway. The first thing Geno said when I arrived at the steakhouse was that this was the best thing that had ever happened to me, and if this situation with Kevin and B/E works out, I might be inclined to agree. Everybody wants out of Luhrs and the management circus.

Regardless, I’m going to be okay. God is in control, orchestrating events, and will provide for my needs. The memory of being called into the office and terminated without any warning whatsoever is still a bit fresh in my memory, though, so it’s hard to escape the feeling. I think it will be better in the morning. I have until the end of July to leave the apartment, and I’m going to apply for unemployment pay this Monday downtown in St. Augustine. I have a fairly large chunk of savings stashed away, so I’ll be okay. The event of being laid off still has a very bitter taste in my mouth, what with the shady circumstances surrounding it, and the very unfair way that it was handled, but time will heal that wound. I feel a new avenue of possibilities before me, but also the pain of rejection. I’m learning that it doesn’t have to come under the auspices of a personal relationship to hurt deeply. If anyone would like to know how the whole scenario played out, I’ll tell, but I’d just as soon put it behind me and look forward.

After the reassurance and encouragement session by the guys at the steakhouse, Geno and I took some furniture to Karl’s house, a beautiful mini-mansion some ways north of town. He invited us inside and we shot the breeze for a while. Everybody wants to work for that guy instead of Rick, and there are good reasons for it. We then drove up to Jacksonville and hung out at Greg’s apartment for a bit, ate some Mexican at a local place, then drove around the main drag near the beach. We went to a bar, my first time in one of those. Pretty much just stood around the whole time. I mean, what’s the point? Greg and Geno did the same. It was a loud, smoky mass of greasy-looking guys with untucked shirts and women with way too little covering their bodies. It was an embodiment of everything that is quick and easy and transient in a relationship, a glorification of the fast and loose. I felt quite uncomfortable. I think I discovered why. I am a straight shooter. I’ve never been able to figure out this thing called “flirting,” much less implement it. I don’t posture when I talk to you, and I don’t play games… Maybe I’m boring? I don’t know; it’s just the way my personality is wired… This is pretty much how a typical conversation between me and a girl at the bar would have gone if I had talked to one:

Me: Hi.
Girl: Hi.
Me: How are you tonight?
Girl: Pretty good… How about you?
Me: I’m alright. I got laid off today, so that’s a bummer, but I’m making it.
Girl: I’m sorry…
Me: Thanks. It’s okay, though. Is this one of the better bars in town? It’s only my first time at a bar so I don’t have anything to compare it to…
Girl: …

And so on and so forth, with many more questions directed her way, of course. From what I can tell, to really get something out of going to bars and clubs, you have to play these little word and eye and body games, which I can’t do… I just can’t bring myself to subterfuge. I want to get to know her, spend time with her, make her laugh, not “hook up.” I detest that expression more than any other. Maybe it’s just the mood I’m in right now or something… I’m wiped out. I need sleep. More tomorrow, perhaps… Thank you all for your prayers and your support and everything. I’m optimistic, but a bit down, and totally exhausted.

Goodnight.