Once upon a time there was a watermelon-and-ketchup sandwich and its name was Watusi. It sat in the deli window for 5 years, 3 months and 14 days waiting for someone to buy it (in magical glass case so it wouldn’t go stale). It was very depressed b/c it knew it was disgusting.
One day a man named Mr Winklesteiner entered the deli. Was an odd man and a collector of odd things and that day he was wearing his usual boxer shorts and cowboy boots and nothing else. Saw Watusi and decided that it was what he had been looking for, so he purchased for $41.
Mr Winklesteiner took Watusi home and set it on his kitchen table and tried to decide whether or not he would eat it for 5 days. Finally he decided he would help Watusi fulfill its purpose of being eaten, so he took a bite.
Immediately rhapsodic music filled the air, a delicious scent of burnt motorcycle tires enveloped the house and mermaids popped out of the sinks and toilets singing arias at the top of their lungs. Mr Winklesteiner knew Watusi was a special sandwich indeed.