Jake Blues: How often does the train go by?
Elwood Blues: So often you don’t even notice it.
Interesting how in a demolition derby of a movie like that, lines jump out at you for no particular reason. No reason that registers on your conscious mind, at least. It was the first time I had seen it, though, and I was much impressed by the whole affair. In the spirit of the title of the movie, I’ll definitely have to introduce it to my own brothers. They’d like it a lot, I think.
This is going to be harder than I thought. Meeting people and making friends, that is. It’s so, so easy when you’re in college. Relish that. Relish the fact that you can just call up or knock on your friends’ door and go eat dinner, inexpensively. I miss that so much. The appeal of clubs and bars and the like is beginning to be more apparent now, though no more attractive to me than it was before. You’ve had a long day at work. You get off at 5, and you don’t want to do anything except relax and chat with friends. Making plans takes time and energy. So what do you do? You avoid making plans and just congregate at someplace premade for that sort of thing. I’m going to check out a coffeehouse next week, I think.
More than anything, though, I just hate the way our society is centered around sex. Absolutely everything. This bothered me before I came to Florida… Why’d I want to live by the beach, anyway? I go to a surf shop and the bathing suits are the most miserable little scraps of fabric I’ve ever seen. Don’t you women not want to be objectified? Then quit walking around on the beach in what amounts to less than your underwear. There are guys who will want to have long conversations with you, to get to know you, how you’re feeling inside, and appreciate and love you, not just tossing off some trite phrase or expression when they feel it’s time to throw you a token compliment. Where are the modest women? A real man will love you, really love you, regardless of your physical attractiveness. Sex appeal is not the end-all be-all of womens’ appeal to men. But that’s the rule in stores, in the media, in clubs, on the beach, everywhere… It’s suffocating.
Last night was awesome, with the worship and all the people there, but it’s so far. It’s 45 minutes just to get there. Why can’t this be easier… Why can’t I have a best friend right across the street like when I was little? I’m perservering… But tonight I feel worn and tired. I didn’t spend nearly enough time with Him and in the Word this week. I can tell the difference. My spirit is lagging behind.
Tim picks on Erica a lot. He makes fun of her, and even her appearance sometimes. This bothers me. I mentioned it to him but I don’t think it sunk in. We had a great talk last night, but they’re around each other constantly and as such don’t have much to talk about, and I’ve been so tired this weekend that I haven’t been entertaining. There have been lots of silences during our excursions into town. I wonder if things would be different if it were just Tim and me? Erica is a physical relationship that he’s trying to make into something meaningful, which is difficult, if not impossible, to do. And he’s failing his classes, again… I want him to do well, so badly. He’s my friend, and he’s smart and he presents himself well… But when it comes to motivation he procrastinates like the rest of us, only to the extreme. I’m discouraged by the growing ineffectiveness I see in my words of encouragement to people these days. But it’s the Holy Spirit that moves hearts and makes changes, not me. And I have so many issues in my life, too, many things I’m struggling through. It’s difficult to be a sympathetic person some days, though. I hurt for my friends when I see them doing these things to themselves… *sigh* But that’s life, right? You live and learn? You spend a season doing whatever it is you want to do and then pick up the pieces and move on, right? I don’t see it that way. We’re only given so much time, and this is my time. I’m going to live in it. Really, really live. Live for others, pour myself out, seek, strive, reach, grow. I want to. I want to stretch my comfort zones, to break out of them. I want to run after the destiny to which He’s called me. The fear is gone, replaced by an iron determination. It won’t fade this time.