hasseldorf
“How can I describe this album? In a word, divine. Never before and never again will such genius and mastery of the senses coalesce into a body of pure bliss as has in this work of blinding brilliance.”
“This is clearly one of the finest works in the entire oeuvre of human expression.”
“Midway through the monumental Track 6, I involuntarily sprang up from my seat, threw my entire CD collection out of the window, and ordered a further 172 copies of this masterpiece to fill the space they left behind. I have never regretted it for a moment.”
“Like the Colossi of antiquity, his magnificence is both awe inspiring and humbling. His oeuvre is living proof that the Dumbing Down phenomenon theory is just speculation. Indeed, his music is the culmination of hundreds of years of evolution in Western Classical Music.”
“To listen to these 18 songs of pure, magical bliss is an experience so mindblowing and ecstatic that it is worth knocking your grandma over to turn up the volume.”
“He scoured the slums of Belgium to find the best harmonium player, the canals of Venice to get the greatest squeezebox artist, and the backstreets of Lourdes to discover the most prolific player of the ukelele. These three musicians would join forces like a musical Voltron and rock out so hard that even the international space station would feel it.”
* * * * * *
This stuff kills me. I’ve had to bite my lip here at work to stifle the laughter.
wow
“And David, dressed in a tunic and some sensible sandals, led the clarion charge with his magnificent voice- a voice that my memory describes as sounding like a furious armadillo violating a leaky marblebag.”
Oh. My. Goodness. Must stop reading reviews…for own sake.
best post ever. i am cracking up. thanks for that.
Oh dear.
Where and why? Seriously. I want to know. ;o)
(Five stars later)
“David Hassenbloff Has made me see the lyrical light. Pre Hoff i used to listen to acts like Zepplin, Elvis, Marvin Gaye until i discovered the Sultan of Song himself David Hasseldorf. Now I wake up each morning with a reason to get out of bed, to face the day THANK YOU DAVID HASSELNOCK!”
… and we wonder if they are being paid off.
Matt, thanks for the comical link. :) Made me laugh. A lot.
Also, I enjoyed your blog about your Easter and the storm from yesterday. Crazy, eh? Couldn’t help but sit right by the window despite the time clock ticking by…
~ M
Glad you enjoyed. Some of the best bits are the descriptions of his voice. Selected favorites:
“Yoko Ono recorded at the wrong speed”
“a hysterical caribou stomping a box of elves”
“a walrus stuck under a garage door”
“a chihuahua accidentally sitting on a greased pickle”
“two hyenas mauling a sack of polystyrene peanuts”
I’m glad you liked it. It was too good not to link :)
Happy Wednesday!
A little bored at work… Thumbing through Wikipedia… I was done reading about Xenu, Henry IV and the Convair 990 so I spontaneously decided to see what Wikipedia had to say about Mr. Hasselhoff. From thence came the link, and well, yeah…