the questions are the answers you might need
I have an innate aversion to labels and categories and cubbyholes of description. I’m aware of the fact that it’s somewhat hypocritical given my strong predilection for describing and organizing the world around me in terms of systems, a penchant which necessarily involves a degree of generalization and thus labeling and categorization. But in terms of self-expression, when it comes to describing my own personality, I eschew almost all attempts to synthesize an overarching descriptor from a set of attributes or responses. Personality tests, memes, online quizzes… They hold no appeal.
Why this opinion? I fully appreciate the value of being self-aware, of being conscious of my own psychological chemistry. But I feel like the effect of aligning myself with a category would have a disproportionately large effect on my self-perception vis-a-vis life directions. In other words, my decision-making process would be restrained by that self-knowledge, or semblance thereof.
It may happen consciously; for example: I could be hesitating between two major life choices, and recalling the fact that I am an INFP or what-have-you, bring that to bear on my decision. Or it could happen subconsciously, in which case the cumulative effects of a number of personality “tests” would snowball and exert a tacit influence on my choice, pulling me in one direction. Part of my reaction stems from the ubiquity of the tests: The likelihood of any one test’s accuracy is inversely proportional to the number of tests in common usage. I’m sure some people create them for their own sake, but in most cases people create a new test because they’re dissatisfied with some aspect of the previous. So in theory this cottage industry based on self-evaluation should result in a self-perpetuating progression toward an ever more accurate test, but in my opinion we’re far from a truly usefully descriptive evaluation, and I have no inclination to stay abreast of the latest and greatest.
But the larger reason for my aversion is the potential of the tests to create an experiential cage around me. I never want to take initiative or refrain from it based some self-knowledge, subconsciously-suggested or no, gleaned from some test. For example, I don’t want to avoid working with kids because an evaluation suggested my ability to relate to them is not a strong suit of mine. I don’t want to artificially curb a budding interest in, say, quantum physics and higher-level math because I think of myself, based on a test, as a more, right-brained, creative person. I don’t want it even suggested to myself subconsciously that I would bomb a speech because I learned that I’m an introvert and don’t interact well with crowds. It wouldn’t help a thing. And of course it’s no license to do anything and everything; awareness of one’s strengths and abilities is certainly brought to bear, but I want life experiences to supply me with that awareness, not some test.
Where does this aversion come from? Probably something to do with my Gen-X roots :)
However, if I had to choose one category in which to place myself, it would be a third culture kid. Even so, it’s not with the intent of clarifying to myself my own personalty in service of future decisions, but a reflection of the influences that shaped what I’ve always felt inside. I read the description and felt a pang of recognition like I’d never had with another artificial category. It explained why I’ve felt the way I have for such a long span of time. Clinically-meant phrases like, “develop[ing] a sense of belonging everywhere and nowhere,” and, “build[ing] relationships to all of the cultures, while not having full ownership in any,” had the same effect on me as intricately-constructed poetry; they tugged at my heartstrings. But the most eloquent summation of the core of that concept, of what I felt, was written by a friend: “They call us TCK’s, you know–third culture kids, kids who grew up in the wood between worlds, not really a member of any culture but making our own out of the experiences we were handed. And I wouldn’t trade it for anything.” Yeah.
Deep and very well wrought…
Just when I thought I had enough on my mind! You gotta go and make me start thinking more! : P
“But the most eloquent summation of the core of that concept, of what I felt, was written by a friend: “
you must have some really smart friends. ;)
/es/\\e
Have an aversion to “labels” myself… “Don’t label me… decide you know who I am… get to know me.” And you make an excellent point on the potential of personality tests to box in… place fences in the mind… but I think this is more of a pit fall for the weaker minded… not a deeply philosophical, intellectual like yourself. But Kudos’ for being self aware enough to not want to restrain yourself in any way conscious or not, from diving into those possible new pursuits… are there any in mind you’re going to try?
Yet your last paragraph touches on the reason that I do so enjoy the conversation with myself and others that personality tests and the like, have sparked in my life. The exposing of this universal feeling of “No one else feels like I do.” It has been a crucial part of my “growing up”, becoming transparent enough with others to learn from them and attain an ingredient of self awareness that I wouldn’t have found on my own.
Most of the guys on my DTS disliked the “labeling” of the personality tests as well… even the male leaders, but the girls loved it! Could it be because we are more relational and men more adventurous? ;) I think that self-awareness is good… but only so far as to help in understanding how you relate to others and the world around you, as a hopeful motivator to m o v e to do something about who you, they, we are… to motivate social change, revolution, progress of redemption… And not and endless loop of do you think I’m an INFP or an INJP, the same with spiritual gifts for that matter… ok I’ll stop :)
P.S. I like how sure you wanted us to be that you disliked labels before you identified with one. Probably something to do with our Gen-X roots… yeah… :P
I’m blessed that way :)
The exposing of this universal feeling of “No one else feels like I do.”
I hadn’t considered that–the social aspect of taking the same test others have and discovering a like-mindedness that way. There’s some value in that. But I’m sure you’d agree that spontaneous conversation and shared experiences are far more preferable ways to build connections with each other.
Most of the guys on my DTS disliked the “labeling” of the personality tests as well… even the male leaders, but the girls loved it!
That’s something that has always mystified me. Your speculation about women being more relational I can certainly attest to, but I’d hesitate to call most men more adventurous. And I certainly agree with your conclusions in that paragraph.
I like how sure you wanted us to be that you disliked labels before you identified with one.
:) Yep, that was the “joke.”
/es/\\e
Yeah, conversation and shared experience are essentials to building connections. But it’s like therapy… we instantly don’t like it, but could all benefit. Always room for improvement. The objectiveness of a test\label can be powerful when you are building a team or any relationship where it would be important to “know” the other person. I think that these tests are under valued in this aspect. If we are to work with, live with, or relate with an individual often… putting some pre meditated thought and study, if you will, into who they are and how we generally respond is a great tool. Certainly not interested in boxing up people… but keenly interested in understanding them.
Well I could withdrawal the adventurous comment… I was searching for a word that would be the opposite of relational… and didn’t want to say “goal oriented” without allowing for a hint of “relational” in there…
Totally got your joke. ;P