october, talk getting nowhere
November… December… remember
Are we just starting again?
I can’t organize my thoughts. I can’t write if I can’t organize at least the beginnings of my thoughts into paragraphs. I’m unbelievably stressed, and I keep making mental notes to write about this or that in my journal, but there’s inevitably a mental impasse and I can feel the pressure building and building and building, like the water behind a dam…
I flew this morning. Probably shouldn’t have, but I hadn’t flown since last Tuesday (because of the rain) and I need to stay on top of things, especially now that we’re practicing landings. I did four landings over at Twin Lakes and two at Sugar Valley, and maybe one out of the six was reasonably satisfactory. Regardless, the whole event takes such a degree of concentration at this point that after parking the airplane and shutting off the engine back on the ramp, I can barely get through the debrief on account of the release of pent-up emotion that shudders through me. It’s not healthy. I can’t be in this state when I solo in a couple of weeks. I’ll ball it up.
There’s just…so much. Work, school, life–all three. I don’t know where to start. I don’t have anyone. Maybe things will settle down in a week or two; who knows.
your catholic blues, your convent shoes, your stick-on tattoos
re: stress….i’m with you. i thought life would be getting good for us by this age.
There’s something heart-wrenching about that song.
My reaction to the stress takes odd turns sometimes. For example, I’m so bloody tired of explaining to people what I’m in school for, why I go to a Bible college to get aviation training, no I’m not scared of flying, yes coach class is universally terrible, wow that was some amazing turbulence, yes when I’m a pilot I’ll make them give you the whole can of Pepsi, etc etc. I thought everything would have been uphill after having to explain to people for years what “industrial design” was, but no… (“it’s like graphic design, but 3-D; I’d design appliances, cars, furniture…” *said as their eyes glaze over after it’s*)
you sound so overwhelmed and frustrated. :(
wish i could say something to put your mind at ease…
i’m praying for you.
:( I’m sorry, M.
Thoughts and prayers.
your sermon on the mount, from the boot of your car
both please and peace on earth* bypass the icky-too-earnest issue that i get with most u2 songs post-POP. actually, i think POE has a healthy tinge of cynicism, but i may be alone in that opinion.
*album version only, not post 9-11 version
I’m definitely with you on the balancing school, job, and life thing. I wish I could get away from my job when I got home. I’m sorry your stressed :-(
Isn’t “Please” technically not post-POP, being on the album? I don’t quite feel the same as you about “Peace on Earth.” Whatever the cynicism in it, it’s just far too literal for me…
They didn’t change “POE” on the album post 9-11, did they? ‘Cause I bought ATYCLB after then.
Thank you, Erica. Your prayers mean a lot.
Thanks, Em. In your direction as well… Talk to you soon, hopefully :)
Thank you, Rachel. Glad to know that someone understands. Humbling jobs aren’t always pleasant to endure, but there’s something in it, I think.