The throbbing is slowing receding. Very slowly… I need to put some time between me and last night. It’s hard to pray, as the thoughts keep crowding in, pushing back my devotion. I think–no, I know<\/i> the only thing holding me together today was the prayerful intercession of others. I have an amazing family and group of friends. Aaron was understanding and compassionate today over dinner, something he rarely is (he has a host of other good qualities to make up for that shortcoming, though).<\/p>\n
Snippets of songs and fleeting cloudlimbs of our romance keep floating through my mind…<\/p>\n
I said I never, ever wanted to feel that way again, and yet here I am. The pain, while less acute last night, is longer-wearing than the last was.<\/p>\n
I need His peace right now, His comfort. If anything, my continued capacity to function academically is a testament to His sustaining grace.<\/p>\n
I wear a painted frown today, I walk with shifty-eyed step, slowly, a man burdened. Today, I am acquianted with sorrow. We walk side by side through the groups of laughter, every step pushing against the encroaching ground. Grief and gravity are related, I’m convinced.<\/p>\n
So much lost, so much ripped out of my heart. So many things we’ll never do. How can I trust her again, even years down the road? I cannot see that far, and yet my heart ranges far and wide, searching for solace. The top is off-kilter, the dance out of time. A part of me is missing, gone.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The throbbing is slowing receding. Very slowly… I need to put some time between me and last night. It’s hard to pray, as the thoughts keep crowding in, pushing back my devotion. I think–no, I know the only thing holding me together today was the prayerful intercession of others. I have an amazing family and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/91"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=91"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/91\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=91"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=91"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=91"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}