{"id":782,"date":"2004-12-17T09:30:00","date_gmt":"2004-12-17T14:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/?p=782"},"modified":"2004-12-17T09:30:00","modified_gmt":"2004-12-17T14:30:00","slug":"782","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/?p=782","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

Favorite word of the moment: chintzy<\/a>.<\/p>\n

I fixed the bathroom fan for good yesterday, lubing it up with what it should have been lubed up with in the first place: premium<\/i> hi-temp disc brake wheel bearing grease (or so the can says). In any case, it’s held out much longer than the silicone spray I used the first time, good as that was. Grease doesn’t have an overly good relationship with dust, though, something the bathroom fan sees a lot of, so we’ll see how it holds out over the long term.<\/p>\n

Up until recently, Stephen had a pair of fruitcakes. He’s the only guy working at his bank branch up in Hillsborough, and as such they must think he’ll eat anything, since he inevitably comes home with the bulk of the leftovers from their holiday parties and lunches and whatnot. Last week he somehow got hold of a pair of shrink-wrapped fruitcake “bricks” that he deposited on the counter in hopes that some kind soul would take a shine to them and eat them. No such luck. Once we realized that the fruitcakes weren’t going to get eaten, Stephen and I immediately put our heads together and examined the options, whereupon we decided unanimously that the best option for disposal was throwing them into the “lake” just outside the apartment’s back deck. It was perfect–we’d feed the fishes and get rid of the fruitcakes. It was a win-win situation for them and us. So a couple of nights ago Stephen ceremoniously unwrapped one, and holding his nose, chucked it into the pond. The second one actually sat on the counter until just last night, when we had the revelation that the only thing better than actually throwing fruitcakes into the lake would be throwing flaming<\/i> fruitcakes into the lake. We were hoping that the fruitcake would have a reasonable amount of alcohol in it so it would burn better, but no luck–it didn’t have any<\/i>, just some “artificial rum flavor.” What a crock. We did manage to set it on fire anyway by starting with the paper inside the wrapper, and the fruitcake traced a nice flamboyant arc in the night air before going *BLOOP* in the pond. This was immensely satisfying for some reason. I hope the fishes like it. If we’re lucky we’ll have mutant fish crawling around the countryside in a matter of days. It could happen. Well, you’ve<\/i> never fed fruitcake to a fish, so how do you<\/i> know how they’ll respond? Yeah, that’s what I thought.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Favorite word of the moment: chintzy. I fixed the bathroom fan for good yesterday, lubing it up with what it should have been lubed up with in the first place: premium hi-temp disc brake wheel bearing grease (or so the can says). In any case, it’s held out much longer than the silicone spray I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/782"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=782"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/782\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=782"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=782"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=782"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}