I am about to lose it. Or was, half an hour ago… I went back to the DMV for the third<\/i> time and was turned away from getting the stupid car registered by what (in my mind) were the most infinitesimal technicalities. I hate red tape, and I’m beginning to hate this car. It’s been the bane of my existence every since I got it (there’s that stupid expression again). If I hadn’t bought it, I’d have one less car to worry about, more money, and (possibly) more motivation to finish up the Supra.<\/p>\n
I left the DMV in a daze of frustration and stumbled across the parking lot to Harris Teeter to pick up some food, since I hadn’t had breakfast, but oddly wasn’t feeling that hungry. I stood in front of the magazine rack, where I go sometimes before I grab my food, and just imploded. Outwardly you wouldn’t have been able to tell (perhaps), but I felt like a shell after five minutes as my mind recapitulated over and over everything that I was stressed about… Old insecurities even came up, things I thought I had conquered… It’s like my coping mechanisms completely broke down, just standing there.<\/p>\n
I still don’t know quite where I am inside after that, or what’s going on in general… If you asked me how I felt I wouldn’t respond I don’t know, but after a few minutes things might start to come out; I don’t know. I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know… Gahh.<\/p>\n
Jeremy canceled the youth leaders’ meeting tonight because he’s exhausted and his wife is ill. Normally I feel a bit of a sense of relief since it’s more free time for me, but of all the evenings when I could have used people around me, this is it, I think. I’ll figure something out, though. God hasn’t left me; I know… This is all happening for a reason, but–gosh. I’m stunned, dazed.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I am about to lose it. Or was, half an hour ago… I went back to the DMV for the third time and was turned away from getting the stupid car registered by what (in my mind) were the most infinitesimal technicalities. I hate red tape, and I’m beginning to hate this car. It’s been […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/602"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=602"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/602\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=602"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=602"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=602"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}