C’\u00e9tait un matin tr\u00e8s long, et je ne vois pas encore la fin de la journ\u00e9e.<\/i><\/p>\n
There’s a giant poster on my wall here at the office. It’s solid grey except for the upper right corner, which says “no 5,” although it’s a bit truncated. It relieves the off-white of the walls and provides at least a semblance of another window to the room.<\/p>\n
After that heart-stopping preface, here I am. Listening to music with the headphones, but only the right speaker covering my ear. Grey shirt, khaki pants. Timberline boots. Matching belt. Mismatched socks. 6’4″, though not sitting down. Green eyes. Red hair. Goatee in progress. My monitor looks remarkably akin to a flower on account of the post-its arrayed around the perimeter.<\/p>\n
Had lunch with Leslie yesterday, who shared a real insight about the NH girl. She was just being real. She’s a thoughtful person, and it wasn’t that I might have been unattractive (although little things may have played a part), it’s just she thought, “Where is this going to go, really? How much of my time do I really want to fritter away on something that has little chance of coming to fruition, whatever that might look like?” It was good for me to hear. Stops the self-doubt. It’s something that should have occurred to me a long, long time ago. And it makes it easier to move on.<\/p>\n
I have no creative energy today, just as I’ve had little this week. I could reach down and write about another memory from France or earlier in my younger days, but it would just be the same hackneyed, trite prose I always write. I always end up writing about the curtains to start out, then I lose myself in some other mishmash of sensations and crap like that. It’s old.<\/p>\n
I don’t want to be here. I don’t know where I want to be.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
C’\u00e9tait un matin tr\u00e8s long, et je ne vois pas encore la fin de la journ\u00e9e. There’s a giant poster on my wall here at the office. It’s solid grey except for the upper right corner, which says “no 5,” although it’s a bit truncated. It relieves the off-white of the walls and provides at […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/451"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=451"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/451\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=451"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=451"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=451"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}