Another solitary, drippy day. I couldn’t get Geno on the phone all day… He must be out jetskiing or some such thing. In the meantime, I put the electric fan on my car in place of the belt-driven one. It moves a lot of air, believe me. I predict no cooling problems in either the immediate or the forseeable future.<\/p>\n
I wish it would stop raining for a spell. It’s been raining almost continuously for more than a week, and, with their din, the creatures outside are going to relegate me permanently to the couch in the living room if the artificial swamp in the midst of the apartments persists. In any event, the cool wind was wonderful, and made me pause whilst I walked down the stairs to the car this evening, to return the movie. Perhaps it’s good, though, that all this disagreeable weather is taking place now, so it will clear up for my family’s arrival at the end of the week. I just wish I did have something to discuss besides the weather.<\/p>\n
I suppose I do, though, if I put my mind to it. I speak of things immediate to my senses only out of complacency and habit, not of any desire to conceal those things which are closer to my train of thought during the day. I reread her letters from Romania today. It was two summers ago, such a distant time, that she spent a few months in that country before our reunion in southern France. She wrote me pages upon pages of her musings, ponderings, and reflections while there, in a lovely hand, however she may deny it. Her words are as captivating now as they were then, when they were like water for a parched soul yearning for her company during her long absence. She described her experiences in immeasurable detail, but what was, and is, more, she spoke words of boundless encouragement to me. Even in her more recent epistles, she builds me up in a way to which I was blind before tonight… I don’t know why I didn’t see it… My heart pains to recognize the neglect that I held towards her tenders of emotion. Perhaps I wanted to be encouraged and supported in a way she could not summon within herself? Perhaps indeed, but there were many things, many attributes, many character qualities that I wished to extend in her direction during our last weeks and months, but could not because of underlying issues in our relationship. So perhaps it was not her incapacity in herself to demonstrate those emotions that caused them to remain unrecognized by me, but the simple fact that many things were blocked by the resident sin, things that I should have extended to her as a man, and things she should have extended to me as a woman. The more likely possibility, though, is that I simply did not see the encouragement and support for what it was, and so chided her unjustly for the uplifting words, unheard, that she extended to the best of her ability. It was a grievous attitude, one that I repent of and will not repeat; that much is certain.<\/p>\n
Meanwhile, the soft music, while effectively overbearing the intemperate noises of the night outside my bedroom window, is having the side effect of causing my eyelids to droop. The quieter music was necessary to put me in a frame of mind to write, but is now backfiring. That settles it. Goodnight, all.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Another solitary, drippy day. I couldn’t get Geno on the phone all day… He must be out jetskiing or some such thing. In the meantime, I put the electric fan on my car in place of the belt-driven one. It moves a lot of air, believe me. I predict no cooling problems in either the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/257"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=257"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/257\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=257"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=257"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=257"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}