Once upon a time there was a smokestack and its name was Harvey. Harvey lived with his three brothers—Steve, Gary and Victini—on the deck of the ocean liner SS McSmarpy, the greatest ocean liner ever built. It was 5 miles long and powered by 13 nuclear reactors.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Its passengers could play tennis on any one of 45 different courts, watch only ’80s movies at any of the 9 movie theaters and dine on the finest hoagies and cheese fries. The day of the SS McSmarpy’s maiden voyage had come, and she set sail amid cheers, music and confetti…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She sailed on into the night on the first leg of her voyage from London to New York, her passengers regaling themselves and doing cartwheels across the deck, four smokestacks chugging away. The night was clear and cold with a wide moon shining on the north Atlantic…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The bridge crew were vigilant as an iceberg warning had just been posted for that area, and as they looked out over the calm ocean, they saw hundreds of icebergs dotting the water. Suddenly, one loomed up over the bow, and there was no way for the SS McSmarpy to avoid it…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It shuddered into the hull……and glanced harmlessly off the side. The ship was 5 miles long, after all, and wasn’t troubled by a puny little iceberg. This of course made the iceberg master, Mr IciclePants, very angry, and he sent another, larger icerberg at the SS McSmarpy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This one, too, just nicked the side of the ship without doing any real damage. Mr IciclePants was hopping mad and sent ever larger icebergs at the SS McSmarpy, hoping to sink it, to no avail. Finally he decided he had had enough, picked up his IciclePhone and called in a favor<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He talked for a minute and hung up. A wry smile spread across his face as a chunk broke off the Moon, rocketed down to Earth and crashed into the ocean just ahead of the ship, which had no time to take evasive maneuvers…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Once upon a time there was a smokestack and its name was Harvey. Harvey lived with his three brothers—Steve, Gary and Victini—on the deck of the ocean liner SS McSmarpy, the greatest ocean liner ever built. It was 5 miles long and powered by 13 nuclear reactors. Its passengers could play tennis on any one […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[56],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2453"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2453"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2453\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2454,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2453\/revisions\/2454"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2453"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2453"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2453"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}