To sleep, to dream, to hold a star within the boundaries of your arms. Such is my wish tonight, as always, perfectly contradictory things. The room is quiet, as it always is, punctuated by the crash of my thoughts upon the shore of silence. The light is low, a muted light that makes your complexion look better than it is (hence the reason they always put them in restaurants). I don’t know what’s going on with me tonight, or the past few nights, for that matter. There’s a conflict of some nature raging within me, the cause or even effect of which I can’t accurately pinpoint. It’s frustrating. Your prayers are more than appreciated.<\/p>\n
I feel like I’m unfurling my sail after ages of resting in the drydock… It’s just beginning to catch the wind–perhaps it’s that initial jerk as the rigging goes taut? I don’t know. Some things I do know (to your great relief, I’m sure). I want to travel. I want to fly. I want to stargaze in the middle of the largest field you’ve ever seen on the crispest night the earth has even witnessed with the woman I’m meant to spend the rest of my life with. I’m a miser, though. I am. I’m hoarding the possibilities, refusing to spend them, relishing my vantage point at the summit, reluctant to descend. Why? The threat of the “what ifs.”<\/p>\n
I need to be patient. My imagination reconnoiters the future constantly, though, engaging my heart prematurely. There is a season for everything, though. My time to run full speed along the path set before me will come soon enough.<\/p>\n
*sigh*<\/p>\n
I want to travel around Europe with me in a beat-up minivan with four loaves of bread and a Samuel Barber cd. I want to ride in an F-15 Eagle as it accelerates vertically at close to 600 mph. I want to bungee jump off Angel Falls in Venezuela. I want to read all three installments of The Lord of the Rings aloud with a group of people, each person taking a chapter or character until we’re done, sleep be darned. I want to see the sunset over Lago di Garda again in northern Italy. I want to play freeze tag in the warm summer rain. I want to compose an epic poem. I want to be appreciated and respected. I need to be patient.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
To sleep, to dream, to hold a star within the boundaries of your arms. Such is my wish tonight, as always, perfectly contradictory things. The room is quiet, as it always is, punctuated by the crash of my thoughts upon the shore of silence. The light is low, a muted light that makes your complexion […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/124"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=124"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/124\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=124"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=124"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=124"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}