Back in the office after a busy morning. I had a quiet lunch at Panera to slow down, and read some more in James Dobson’s excellent Bringing Up Boys<\/i>, a book it’s taking me inexplicably long to finish so I can pass it on to Diane. The chapter I read dealt with the balance of work and home life, and how we are far, far too strung out, on average. As a society we are thoroughly overcommitted, on the whole, and a state of what he calls “routine chaos” exists in most households as they rush from one event to the next.<\/p>\n
Some bits of the chapter were particularly apropos for me. Discussing the reactionary trend in the ’90s away from two-career households and back to single-income families, Dobson says, “The men tended to press ahead with their professional commitments until they had achieved an ‘acceptable level of flexibility and autonomy in their careers.'” (he quotes a pertinent magazine article) This is a good synopsis of a career goal that recognizes the paramount importance of being a parent.<\/p>\n
Another extended passage was encouraging:<\/p>\n
Your task […] is to build a man out the raw material available in this delightful little boy, stone upon stone upon stone. Never assume for a moment that you can “do your own thing” without serious consequences for him and his sister. I believe this task must be your highest priority for a period of time. It will not always be required of you. Before you know it, that child at your feet will become a young man who will pack his bags and take his first halting steps into the adult world. Then it will be your turn. By all expectations, you should have decades of health and vigor left to invest in whatever God calls you to do. But for now there is a higher calling. I feel obligated to tell you this, whether my words are popular or not. Raising children who have been loaned to us for a brief moment outranks ever other responsibility. Besides, living by that priority when kids are small will produce the greatest rewards at maturity.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
This has implications in the other direction as well. We have an absolute responsibility to sever our dependence–financial, emotional, social and spiritual–on our parents, not only for our sakes, but for theirs too, so they have all their resources at their disposal for whatever task God has called them to do for this next season of their lives. Many people have gone too far or not far enough in this direction–we are still family and I love them and will always want to spend time with them, but still… How exciting it must be for them. The satisfaction of having completed their task, and having done it well, the benefits of wisdom and maturity and the new possibilities that open up… Looking up at the looming, albeit lush mountain ahead, I can only imagine what that will be like.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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