The life that we have missed,
\nI think it still exists<\/i><\/p>\n
I saw her in my dream last night. I wish I didn’t have to wait until I returned from class in order to record these things… So much is lost. But I woke up early anyway (I haven’t been able to sleep the whole night through lately) and some things were lost then as well.<\/p>\n
I was folding clothes in front of the television when she came in. I was wearing a white undershirt and some weathered, comfortable jeans. I remembered seeing glimpses of her through half-open doorways and down hallways into rooms as she passed across the sliver of the doorway that I could see. I knew her name, but I didn’t know her name, and even when she introduced herself I still didn’t know it. I even had it written down in front of me and when I looked at the written name it made sense, but as soon as I would look up it would disappear from my mind.<\/p>\n
And she was fascinating to me. Intelligent, with well-formed opinions and a bearing in her voice that I caught in every sentence. But that didn’t keep her from being playful\u2014indeed, there was an ease in her manner that complemented my own perfectly.<\/p>\n
And she was beautiful. Not an intimidating beauty, but so, so pretty nevertheless. She was average height, with shoulder-length, darker hair and rounded features. She wore a dark blue or violet shirt and indigo jeans. She turned her head to the side to watch the television for a second\u2014I could still trace her profile, even now. She smiled and a light would appear in her eyes the likes of which I had never had directed my way before.<\/p>\n
And she liked<\/i> me. She wanted to spend time with me<\/i>. She wanted to have conversations and carry on with me<\/i>. She was interested<\/i> in me. I never felt as if I were selling myself to convince her to spend time with me\u2014there was a natural reciprocation, a give and take that just felt…perfect. She was intelligent and active and she wanted to be with me<\/i>. I couldn’t believe it then, and I have even less success trying to wrap my mind around the sensation a few hours afterward.<\/p>\n
The funny thing about dreams is that in them, most of the time, I feel what I should feel in a particular situation and then half again. Not only that, but the ecstasy, terror, disgust, unease or what-have-you will extend far into the day provided monumental distractions don’t arise. I was in a glow driving home an hour ago from class, thinking about the girl in my dream, just buoyed by the thought of her and how for a little while she existed.<\/p>\n
I can still conjure up fragments, gestures, syllables even, but any hope of continuity is gone.<\/p>\n
On with the day…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The life that we have missed, I think it still exists I saw her in my dream last night. I wish I didn’t have to wait until I returned from class in order to record these things… So much is lost. But I woke up early anyway (I haven’t been able to sleep the whole […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1014"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1014"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1014\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3452,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1014\/revisions\/3452"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1014"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1014"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.boldulysses.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1014"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}