always close your eyes when you kiss
Up way earlier than I should be. I had to drive Donald to the airport this morning, though; it’s not just a fluke of my circadian rhythms and now I can’t get back to sleep. His plane departs at 8:45, so we thought it’d be good if he were there around 7, and I just came to work afterwards, since there was little point in stopping by the apartment, having had breakfast already and all.
Odd dreams last night. One in particular I remember, since it revolved (as the memorable ones usually do) around a girl. This wasn’t any girl I’ve ever met in real life, though–as far as I can tell she was constructed by my subconscious from fragments and attributes of girls that I know, but isn’t one in her entirety, though it’s debatable how well the girls that I dream about are an accurate representation in my dream of what they’re really like in life. In any case, she was shorter, a bit artsy, definitely drawn in, pretty antisocial, unapprochable, but with a certain quality that drew me to her, one that I couldn’t quite name. I was at her house for some reason, and we were in her room, which seemed to be near the center of the house, since there weren’t any windows to the outside, and it was rather dark, with a large bed, and a prominent television. We bantered for a while, walking around, I was trying to draw her out of her shell, something I’m not very good at doing, but in the dream I had a more accurate understanding of the situation and how she felt than I would have had in real life. I sat down on the bed. She came to sit beside me, still seemingly in spite of herself, talking some more about inconsequential things, then somehow I kissed her. This part I remember–the kiss was amazingly wonderful, whether because of the way she was, or how she felt about me, or a combination of both. It was…something else. We were torn away too quickly, though, as her family ambushed her room and I had to of course meet everyone, her father, her mother, and her siblings, all of whom it was fairly clear she despised to a degree, and it wasn’t really hard to see why, since they all appeared to have the intelligence of fungus, and its social skills to boot. She sat uncomfortably, silently in a chair in the living room while I made as polite conversation as I could with the relatives. I just wanted to spend time with her alone, learning more about her, underneath the hardened outside… But I woke up, around 5, no less, much earlier than I had to–quite an annoyance, as the dream could have at least had the courtesy to last until I had to wake up.
The way dreams play on one’s emotions, though, and resonate with you throughout the day… On the way to work today, stopping by the grocery store for a mid-morning and afternoon snack, climbing back in the truck alone, I felt the most acute sense of longing I have in forever. Patience…