someday these wings will perish in your sight
Rereading more journal entries… I’ve decided summer 2004 was the Season of Peak Possibility, the axis around which my life turns, before and after. I had a stable job at UNC. I had just returned from an exhilarating trip to France. I still had the Supra. No romantic attachments. My writing had matured to the point where it better conveyed what I was thinking and feeling. I hadn’t committed to PBC yet. I was beginning to study systematic theology with Aaron, and was dipping my toe into what would eventually become a treasured friend group. Yep; pretty sure it was never as good as it was then, at least from the array of options laid out before me.
Do I miss it? Absolutely. But in thinking about my situation now relative to then, I can’t decide whether I’m more resentful over the loss of possibilities in general that accompanies a decision, or of the outworking of the decision I did make. The grass IS always greener, but I still can’t help but wonder how those parallel-universe versions of me are making out.