if I had the chance love
i would not hesitate
to tell you all things i never said before
don’t tell me it’s too late
Benjen is sitting on my lap, purring loudly, as I write this. He’s mostly white, with black and gray tabby splashes on his back and head, and he’s very affectionate. He’s unable to settle, but is pacing around, curling around and looking up at me, tapping me with his paw and nuzzling my nose with his cheek when I get close. Phoebe and Odin went through similar stages as kittens; I’ll miss it when they get older.
I think this was a “message song” from her to me on the mix cd. And I missed it completely, or willfully misinterpreted it. For all the incredulity we express toward characters from films when it seems they can’t see what’s right in front of them, it’s probably time we cut them some slack, or at least acknowledge their experience may be closer to reality than is generally believed—even if it is shown in a caricatured way, neatly wrapped up at the end of the movie’s two-hour running time.
I should write a post on more “message songs” in my mental Rolodex. I’ve already alluded to one in Dar Williams’ “Iowa” a few posts down. More to come.
’cause i’ve relied on my illusion
to keep me warm at night
and i’ve denied in my capacity to love
but i am willing to give up this fight