So Stephen and Truly are dating now. I’m really happy for him and excited for him. She’s a great girl, and great fun to be around. It makes me feel even more out of the loop again, and I can feel the cynicism, the “lone wolf syndrome,” insisting that I’m better off on my own, that I don’t NEED somebody else, that I’m stronger than they, that it’s by choice and that I’m holding out for the right one for me–all these things come creeping back in. I really feel left out, though, not desperate, just really really wanting to find the right one for me. And I was going to write “the one who fulfills my romantic expectations.” Is that what I’m waiting for? Is that too much or the wrong thing to want? I’ll say this: I know that whoever I end up with, our courtship isn’t going to follow the traditional, in-my-head template for romance, but I do know how being in love feels, and that’s something I think is more or less constant across the possible range of experiences. But what do I know. It could be completely different.
John’s bachelor party was good fun, between the pool hall, the pool football, hanging out, hazing John, etc… I feel like I’m a little too old for this crowd sometimes. There’s no one within a few years of me age-wise, and sometimes I feel like I should hang out with older guys, people who have a more far-ranging perspective on life.
Gaaah. I gotta keep moving. I need a nap.